From Bad to Worse

Scripture:

“Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac;  so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.” (Genesis 28:8-9)

Observation:

I know this feeling – it’s spite. Esau was wronged, so he tries to do what he can to get under his father’s skin. It would have been possible for the pain and hurt to stop, but – as I’ve heard it said, “hurt people hurt people“. Esau does what he can to hurt his father. His birthright had been taken so he lashes out at the person who gave away the blessing. 

Not only is Esau cruel to his father – this is not a good reason to get married! Can you imagine what feelings Mahalath would have if she ever found out why Esau picked her. “Yeah, I picked you because you’re a Caananite – and my dad doesn’t like those people, so I thought I’d marry you to get back at him.” Not cool!

There are so many episodes in this story that reveal the dysfunction in Isaac’s family: parents having favorites, wife scheming against husband, brother stealing  from brother. I don’t know if Esau knew any better way to cope with his feelings of hurt and disappointment – I am glad that my parents taught and modeld better communication and conflict resolution than this!

Application:

The cycle continues because when Esau is hurt, he hurts someone else back. I have to be aware of my own feelings and realize when my ego is bruised or when someone has done something that affects me negatively. Then, the choice is mine to respond well and stop the cycle of pain – or to continue the escalation.

I will strive to be open and honest about my feelings, even when they’re not things I am proud of. I need to say, “You hurt me and I want to strike back, but I am not going to.” When these feelings are shared out loud they lose much of their power, but held silently, they can fester and grow. If we truly love those around us, this is one thing that we will grow in.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, you teach us to turn the other cheek – to not pay back evil for evil. Help me to do this – to be honest about the feelings I have but not always act on them. Help me to show love to those around me, even when it’s not easy. Amen.